


Covetous

by vanus



Category: VIXX
Genre: Blasphemy, F/M, Priests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 07:00:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8655184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanus/pseuds/vanus
Summary: James 1:14-15 “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tesselate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tesselate/gifts), [illumineo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/illumineo/gifts).



> i almost never write vixx/reader fics, but since this is a ~special occasion~ i was feeling inspired to do something different. does it count as leo/reader if it’s in third person???  
> for liv and islay, my sweet blasphemous babies <3

 

 

She spends a lot of time at church these days. Growing up, her family was the kind of family that showed up for Christmas and Easter masses every year, but the other fifty Sundays were spent watching football, doing homework, and working around the house. Their family wasn’t devout in any sense of the word, but both her parents grew up Catholic, so she was raised the same way.

She’d performed all the sacraments with the rest of the kids her age, but she was the first she knew to get married. A handsome boy named Matthew, tall and sweet and infinitely charming -- her high school sweetheart. They’d gotten married at twenty with a big Catholic ceremony, vowing to uphold the values of the Bible and to raise their children with its teachings. She said her ‘I dos’ with tears in her eyes as he looked down at her, grinning from ear to ear, overjoyed by the prospect of their new life together.

They’d jumped into marriage too quickly, both of them, and it only took a few months before their marriage devolved into something toxic and completely broken. Too young, she drunkenly lamented to her best friend on all their nights out together, she’d been way too young. What had once been love turned into bitter resentment, and they frequently fought about how the other had stolen their youth away.

It was an ugly divorce, finalized on the day of their two year anniversary. Matthew moved across the country, and she pleaded with God to never see him again. She made God a promise to go to church every Sunday for the rest of her life, if only to keep her sanity. Over the years of keeping her promise, she found that God gave her the consolation she needed to move on with her life, and she threw herself into the church and its ministries. Really, it was the only way she convinced herself to get out of bed every morning.

What should have been their five year anniversary is a Sunday, and she gets up at seven to get ready for mass. Each week is the same: shower, put on some light makeup to cover up the dark circles under her eyes, get dressed, make a quick breakfast, and wait for the bus to take her to the 8:30 service. The other parishioners ask her why she takes the bus if she has a car, and she always smiles and says that she just likes it better that way. The time spent on the bus is good for reflecting, and she writes down what lessons she took from the homily on the ride home.

She usually gets to the church about twenty minutes before mass starts, so she uses that time to greet Father Tom and ask him about the service and homily he has planned. Today, the baptismal font stands out in front of the altar, which means the mass will be a bit longer than planned, but she doesn’t mind -- baptisms are her favorite kind of service, right behind weddings.

Father Tom stands off to the side of the altar, speaking with a handsome young priest she’s never seen before. When she signs herself and steps up onto the altar, Father Tom greets her with a soft smile on his face. “Hello, my child, happy Sunday."

She smiles, nodding her head in response. “Hi, Father Tom. Who’s being baptized today?”

“Mary Davies’ daughter. I never thought she’d have little Colleen baptized, she was against it for so long, but I think her mother finally convinced her that it couldn’t hurt.” The elderly priest laughs softly before turning to the man next to him. “Oh, how rude of me-- This is Father Taekwoon. As you know, I’ll be stepping down from my position here and retiring in the next year or so, so he’ll be taking over for me once I’m gone.”

He introduces her to the younger priest, and she blushes a soft shade of pink when Father Tom also commends her for her devotion to the parish. “Really, Father, it’s the least I can do. I grew up here, and this parish has been like my family, especially in the last few years.”

Father Taekwoon responds this time, his voice surprisingly soft. “It’s parishioners like you that keep congregations like this alive. I’m very much looking forward to being here and leading you in your faith’s journey.” There’s something very stiff about the way he speaks, like he means the words he says but can’t quite find the right way to say them.

Nevertheless, she smiles up at him anyway, hoping to ease any nerves he has about his first mass at their parish. “I’m sure you’ll fit in here just fine.” 

Father Taekwoon’s first service is a resounding success. None of the nervousness she’d seen before is anywhere to be found when he’s saying mass. He delivers his homily, a message about treating strangers with kindness, with a passion she’s never seen before. He’s a natural born speaker, really. She finds herself watching his lips move as he preaches, watching the elegant way he walks, watching his hands as he blesses the bread and the wine. When she goes up to take communion, she opens her mouth for him to place the wafer on her tongue, and it feels different to her somehow. Almost sinful, with the way Taekwoon looks at her. She walks back to her pew with her head down and her cheeks flushed. Really, what’s gotten into her?

She gets home from mass in the afternoon, and as soon as the door shuts behind her, she leans against it and sticks her hand up the front of her skirt to thumb at her clit, nearly crying at how good it feels. She thinks of Father Taekwoon as she cums, thinks of his hand around her throat and his mouth on her pussy as she begs for forgiveness before God.

Once she comes down from her orgasm, though, she’s hit with the weight of what she’s done. Father Taekwoon is a holy man, one sworn to chastity, and she is one of his congregation. She prays to God for the next half hour, in tears over her own sinful wants, and she hopes it’s enough to cleanse her impure spirit. She doesn’t think it is, but she tries anyway.

 

\-----

 

The following weekend mimics the first. This week, Father Tom leaves Father Taekwoon to say mass by himself, the elder priest opting to let the younger work on his own while he volunteers at a soup kitchen for the day. She approaches the altar as she always does before service, greeting Father Taekwoon with a smile. He remembers her, she’s surprised to note.

“What’s our homily about today, Father,” she asks, genuine curiosity in her question, but his response goes in one ear and out the other; she can’t stop watching his mouth when he speaks. She nods to be polite when he’s done, going back to her pew and saying a few Hail Marys to atone for her indecency before mass starts.

She takes a deep breath before she goes up for communion, trying to keep a level head, but it's difficult when all she can think about is sucking on his fingers while he fucks her from behind-- 

"The body of Christ," he says, and she opens her mouth in response. His thumb snags on her lower lip when he places it on her tongue, and it takes all the willpower she has in her not to moan in response.

She thinks of his eyes when she orgasms that night, how she wants him to watch when she cums from his fingers alone and screams his name. She feels filthy afterwards, and she doesn't think any amount of prayer can make her feel clean again. This could be a problem.

 

\-----

 

She comes back to the church late on the last Sunday of every month for confessions. She’s always the last one there, always coming at night, and Father Tom knows to leave the doors open until ten just for her. She has so much she must confess, so much she must atone for, that she could cry. The past month has left her so confused and frustrated that confessing her sins might be the only thing she has left to save her from them.

Tonight, however, when she knocks on the door, it’s not Father Tom that greets her -- it’s Father Taekwoon. As if he can read her mind, he ushers her in and closes the door behind them before greeting her. “Father Tom retired early for the night, but he told me to expect you at this time and listen to your confessions.” He leads her back towards the confessionals, entering the one on the far end and closing the door behind him. She takes a deep breath and enters into the other side, her hands trembling a bit as she closes the door behind her with a resounding ‘click.’

Father Taekwoon slides open the screen between them, and he’s so close to the partition that she can feel his warm breath on her face when he speaks. “What have you come to confess, my dear? What sins must you lay before God?”

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one month since my last confession. Father--” she rasps, her voice cracking in sheer embarrassment. Why did it have to be Father Taekwoon waiting for her? She clears her throat, trying to make her words come out easier. “Father, I’ve committed a great many sins in my life, but none as damning as this. I’m worried I might never be clean again.” He says nothing in response, so she takes a deep breath before continuing. “I’ve been…. fantasizing about a holy man, and my own blasphemy runs deep. I’ve touched myself thinking about him, wishing that I could have him just once, wishing that--” She stops herself before she gets carried away, looking down at her hands folded in her lap.

Father Taekwoon is still quiet. She turns her head to look at him through the screen, imploring with her eyes for him to give her penance so she can purify herself, but he’s staring straight ahead, still as a statue. “Father Taekwoon,” she pleads, dangerously near tears, “please, I need forgiveness. God is all I have left, and I want to be forgiven. I’ll do anything, please.”

She hears the priest take a shaky breath before he speaks. “What else have you done, my child," he whispers, his voice trembling a bit, "what other sinful thoughts have crossed your mind?"

This isn't happening. Father Taekwoon can't be asking her to confess her innermost desires, the desires she has for him. This seems so unreal, like at any moment the floor will be yanked out from underneath her and she’ll be damned to rot in Hell for the rest of eternity. But she can't help the thought that maybe, just maybe, he's been wanting the same thing, and for him, the repercussions would be much greater and much more severe.

"I-- Father, if you must know, I have thought about this man renouncing his holy obligations and claiming me for himself. I know very little about him personally, but I hope he's a possessive man. When he fucks me, I want him to grab my hair and tell me that I belong to no one but him, that he'll be the only god I worship." She starts to cry, burying her face in her hands. The shame of her lust overwhelms her, and even now, so full of regret, she can feel warmth pooling in her lower belly when she thinks about how she wants the priest to defile her. "I'm no stranger to sin, Father, but I'm shaken by my own temptations. Please, give me your forgiveness, let me make my peace with God."

Father Taekwoon still says nothing, but she can hear him panting softly. She wonders idly if he's this quiet when he fucks. A silence falls between them -- she doesn't want to say anymore, and the priest won't respond. She thinks he knows that he's the object of her fixation, and yet he still says nothing. The longer she sits in the confessional, the more she wishes he would say something, _anything_. She would even accept it if he would not hear her confessions or allow her penance. Finally, she hears rustling on the other side of the screen, and then Father Taekwoon’s soft murmur. "My child, tell me about this holy man. Do you know him, or are you just observing from afar?"

She wipes away her tears with the back of her hand, sniffling a bit. "I've gotten to know him a little in the last couple of weeks, which might make my sin and my punishment even worse, but it makes the lust that much more rewarding. I can get so creative with my fantasies if I know nearly nothing about him. In one, he could be innocent as a lamb and I teach him how to fuck, and in another, he could be more experienced than I am, teaching me how he likes his cock sucked and using me for his own pleasure. Father, I _want him_ ," she whines and fidgets slightly against her chair, whimpering softly at the small amount of friction it produces. Even just talking about it makes her wet, her cheeks tinting pink. "I want to be his pretty little temptress, I want him to defile me in the eyes of our God--" She stopped short when she hears Father Taekwoon’s soft whine, finally recognizing the rustling on the other side as the movement of the father's robes. "Father, what--"

The priest shushes her and turns his head to look at her through the screen. "My dear, you're not the only one with sinful thoughts. I've tried to keep my own wants in check, to stay faithful to my vows and ignore how much I want you, but you're so..." He doesn't finish his thought, and even in the dim light, she can see where his hand disappears underneath his vestment to stroke his cock. She feels lightheaded and full of self doubt. It's one thing to think about defiling a priest, but it's another thing entirely to actually do it; is there any way she wouldn't go to Hell for this? After a few moments of careful consideration, she decides that risking eternal damnation is worth it for just a taste of what she could never have.

She moves quickly -- she's opening her side of the confessional and moving to Father Taekwoon’s side, and as she opens the door, she's staring down at the priest with desire evident in her eyes. She's quick to straddle his lap and close the door behind her, lifting up her skirt and grinding down against his thigh. "Father," she moans softly, tilting her head back slightly and closing her eyes, "I want you to fuck me. I touch myself thinking of you almost every night now, I have been since the first day we met-- I wake up wet and breathless when I dream of you fucking me while our God is watching, damning us both for our sins--" She looks down at him to find his eyes bright with want, and he's pulling his hand out from underneath his robes to slip under her skirt. "I want your fingers in my mouth, in my--"

Her sentence stops abruptly and she shudders as Taekwoon slips a finger into her pussy, unable to finish her thought. It had been months since anyone had even looked at her twice, much less touched her, and just one of Taekwoon’s fingers has her trembling in his lap. She looks down at him, breathless, and finds him watching her with an unreadable expression on his face. When she gives a rock of her hips against him and moans softly, eyes not leaving his, he moves to slip a second finger inside her. She can feel her own wetness pooling around his fingers, and she’s aching for something, anything more.

“Oh my-- oh, Father, I want you to fuck me,” she gasps when he curls his fingers up, grazing against a sweet spot, “I want to be your sweet, sinful little bitch.”

Taekwoon moans softly as she begs for him, his head feeling like someone’s filling it with cotton balls. He has no idea how she’s managing to form this many coherent sentences when all he can think of is how desperate he is. This is a sin, an act of defiance against his God, but he can't think of a reason not to fuck her into the confessional wall, telling her to beg for forgiveness. He shifts then, pulling his fingers away and lifting his robes up to his waist, then fishing his cock out of his underwear.

They fuck quick and desperate, and no matter how hard he tries to keep quiet, his soft moans echo back to him against the confessional walls. It’s been a long time since he’s had sex with anyone, since before he went into the seminary, and he’s overwhelmed with the sensation of it. Her hands are braced above his shoulders as she rides him, the rocking of her hips making him dizzy with want. Taekwoon slips his hands underneath her shirt, cupping her breasts in his hands as he meets her hips halfway, and the surprised little gasp she lets out has him thrusting up harder just to hear it again.

She pulses around him when she cums, and Taekwoon’s following quickly after her, almost pushing her off his lap to pull himself out, cum spilling onto her thighs and the hem of her skirt. They’re both sweating, and she looks so beautiful above him, the light on the ceiling of the confessional behind her head like a halo above her. Taekwoon thinks she might actually be an angel.

When she comes down from her orgasm, she presses a soft kiss to his cheek before she stands and fixes her skirt, a shaky smile on her lips. “I should go. I’ll see you next Sunday.” Taekwoon fixes his robes as she closes the door to the confessional behind her, and he hopes that she can come to terms with her own sins. He’s already accepted his own.

 

\-----

 

They have confession together every Sunday night now. Father Taekwoon doesn't think anyone from the parish has caught onto their indecency, onto his own lingering gazes as she walks out the door after mass each week, but he maintains a high level of discrepancy anyway. She makes it hard, though, when all he can think of when she walks by is her fingering herself while he tells her she's going to Hell for her sins, moaning as she cums on his vestments. It makes it hard for him to focus on much of anything.

When she arrives for service that Sunday, Taekwoon spends too much time watching her as she comes in. Her hair is tied up out of her face in a neat bun, and she's wearing a pretty floral sundress that's decidedly  modest enough for church, but Taekwoon still needs to take a deep breath to regain his focus as another parishioner asks for his attention. Still, he sneaks glances at her every couple minutes anyway.

His homily today talks about the importance of purity of heart and how important it is to do things with the knowledge that a good deed doesn't always get returned. "We must understand," Taekwoon says clearly into his mic, "that what we give to others might never come back to us. We must do it anyway with pure intentions, and that we will receive our reward in Heaven. Sometimes, the best reward is knowing that God has seen our kindness and knows our hearts are pure."

She comes back to the church that night, dressed in something significantly less modest than what she'd worn to mass that afternoon. They don't bother with the formality of the confessionals anymore; instead, Taekwoon takes her up to his small apartment in the back of the church, moving as quietly as they can manage.

"I've been thinking about my homily," Taekwoon says as he lays her back onto his small bed, pushing the hem of her dress up to her waist and discarding her panties, hitching her legs up over his shoulders, "and how much better it is to give without the intention of getting anything in return..." He sighs softly as he flicks his tongue out against her clit, and she gives a shudder underneath him. He slips two fingers into her, curling them up just slightly, and she lifts her hips off the bed, urging him to go just a little bit faster. Taekwoon kisses her inner thigh, whispering into her skin, “I want to worship you, my sweet girl, I want to treat you like a goddess--” He sucks softly at her flesh, leaving behind a light purple bruise before focusing his attention back to her sensitive clit. She sees stars when she cums, her back arching off of the bed as she cries out.

He asks her about her past when they’re laying in his bed together afterward, Taekwoon dangerously close to falling off the side of it. “Tell me about yourself,” he says, “tell me about the events that make you, well, you.”

She talks about Matthew. She tells Taekwoon about their wedding, about the happy moments they shared, about their rapid descent toward divorce. “I do believe he loved me in the beginning. We were very happy together, but I don’t think he truly was ready to tie himself down so young. I still blame myself, though. He always said it was my fault for pressuring him to marry.” She draws small shapes into his chest with the pads of her fingers, letting her eyes fall shut.

Taekwoon takes his time responding. “Some people are well matched to be married young, and some aren’t. I think you both just needed more time.”

She doesn’t respond, choosing instead to drift off to sleep against his chest.

 

\-----

 

It takes a few months for the weight of her sins to catch up to her. It isn’t a gradual realization. She’s sitting in the armchair in her living room, reading a newspaper, when it hits her all at once. She sits up straight in her chair and pushes down the urge to vomit, her hands starting to tremble. How could she turn her back on God like this? She thinks of Taekwoon, sin disguised in holy cloth, and she wonders if God is the one who has turned his back on her. How could He tempt her like this, knowing she would fail? She’s still so broken over Matthew, and He tests her religion with a priest. How could such a kind and caring God treat her fragile heart with such disregard?

She calls in sick to work the next day, choosing to spend the day curled up in a ball in her bed instead. Maybe all she’s come to know over the years since her divorce has been for naught.

She’s had enough of being tested, she decides. From now on, she has to make her own way.

 

\-----

 

For the most part, she doesn’t do much outside of working and reading. She spends most of her weekdays at home, but she needs to get outside today; her house is suffocating her, she needs to breathe. So, in a groundbreaking decision for her, she decides to go see a movie in the hopes that it makes her feel better.

She picks a movie that’s in its final week of theater showings, picking out a seat in an almost empty room. _Almost_  empty, she notes with a sigh as she spots a boy sitting in one of the rows further back. She picks a seat a little closer to the front, and the previews begin as she’s taking off her jacket.

The movie she’s picked is laughably bad, and she’s suddenly very grateful for the boy in the theater -- he’s cracking jokes and laughing throughout the entire thing, and she finds herself snickering along with him. Once the credits roll, she’s nearly in tears with how hard she’s laughing. She turns back to thank the guy as the lights go up, shrugging on her coat. “Thanks for that. I don’t think I would have survived that otherwise.” She only has to raise her voice a little for him to hear her over the soft music that’s playing over the credits.

“I know, right? I haven’t seen a movie that bad since The Notebook. I have no idea how these companies keep making money off of shit like this.” He zips up his jacket and starts toward the exit, stopping at her row as she gathers her belongings into her purse. “Although, I suppose me buying a ticket to this trainwreck would explain it.” 

She laughs softly, moving down her row towards him. “I just bought mine because I thought the movie might be worth watching. A waste of money, really.” She follows after him as he walks out of the theater, chatting with him about the finer (and more cringeworthy) points of the movie. When they step out into the light of the lobby, she notes the handsome slopes and sharp lines to his face, and she can’t help but stare just a little bit. He introduces himself as Jaehwan with a slightly crooked smile, and she can barely spit out her own name in response. Really, he’s unnervingly handsome.

Once they get to the front door, Jaehwan hesitates for a moment, stopping and looking down at his shoes. “I, um, I hope this isn’t too forward of me, but I’d like to see you again. I mean, you’re very cute and you laugh at my jokes, which is a surprisingly rare combination for me. We could do something together this time, maybe?” The hesitance in his voice melts her heart.

She nods his head and smiles, replying, “I’m free on Sunday, if that works for you.” Jaehwan gives her a dazzling smile, and her knees get a little weak underneath her. They say their goodbyes, and her cheeks go pink when she thinks about seeing him again.

 

\-----

 

She doesn’t go to church for a few weeks. She tries to avoid the area around the church too, when she can. Instead, Jaehwan takes her places around town she hasn’t been to before. The aquarium, the park, the art gallery near his house. They spend a Sunday at the library, and he dishes out the money for her to get a library card; it means more to her than she cares to admit. They spend hours on one of the couches in the common area, and Jaehwan holds her hand while he reads, which makes turning the pages of her own book more difficult, but she doesn’t mind.

Jaehwan comes home with her that night. They watch a movie together, a favorite of his apparently, and they haven’t even gotten to the halfway point before she’s in his lap, rocking against his thigh and whimpering softly. “Jaehwan, I know you want me, so take me. Please.” He reaches around to grab her ass and tugs her closer to his chest.

Jaehwan isn’t gentle with her, and she likes the demanding way he fucks. She cries when she cums, and she cries harder when he eats her out like a man starved, her second orgasm stronger than the first.

He’s timid when he asks her to stay, trying his best to sound anything but. She likes the way he smiles when she says yes. They finish the movie together snuggled up close on the couch, and she rests her head on Jaehwan’s chest and thinks to herself that something good might come of this.

 

\-----

 

Jaehwan had asked her to be his girlfriend last week. They’ve been dating casually for a little over two months now, and his question had come as a relief for her. She feels safe with him, and so happy, and now that he’s officially hers, her heart feels lighter than it has in years. She’s met Jaehwan’s friends a few times now, and he talks to them about her like she hung the stars in the sky just for him. Her heart's a mess, and she likes the way it feels.

There isn’t service until later this evening, she thinks as she drives over to church. Jaehwan had texted her earlier, asking her to come over, but she’d told him she’d come by later. Right now, she has to take care of the only loose end she has left.

She spots Taekwoon in one of the alcoves off to the side of the church, kneeling in front of their statue of the Virgin Mary in prayer. She sits at the end of the pew in the back, not wanting to disturb him. Once he stands and dusts off the front of his robes, she clears her throat. Her heart breaks a little as his face softens when he sees her.

Taekwoon opens his mouth to speak, but she cuts him off before he can say anything. “Father, we have to stop this. You are a holy man, and I-- the church has served its purpose for me.” She takes a deep breath, and when Taekwoon says nothing in response, she continues. “Catholicism has been healing for me since my divorce. I made a promise to God that I would go to church every Sunday til the day I die if it meant that I didn’t have to see Matthew, but I think… if I see him again, I’ll be okay.”

“But…” Taekwoon looks absolutely dumbfounded, and also a bit like he’s going to cry. “But I-- I thought we were good for each other.” 

She shakes her head, standing from her seat and zipping up her coat. “No, Taekwoon, we were anything but. It’s time we accept that.” She turns to leave, stopping just short of the front doors before she turns around to look at him. He’s still standing there, his lower lip trembling, and she’s slightly relieved that she doesn’t feel the need to go to him and comfort him. “I’m doing you the only kindness I can. Turn back to God, and He will forgive. He always does.”

She walks out the front door and leaves Father Taekwoon behind, going home to the god she calls her own.

**Author's Note:**

> i might continue this at some point because i live for pwp jaehwan, but for now, this is how it ends. i live to disappoint ;)


End file.
